trailmix

I absolutely get this. I think by and large, most of us are like this, to greater and lessor degrees. Who even wants to focus on the negatives? Also I think, for people who are generally more positive, there are things that get swept aside. This is not a bad thing in my opinion, in fact I think it's great, but I do think we need to attempt to think the other way and show ourselves when this isn't serving us well.

We have our set personalities, whether that includes being the helper, optimist, pessimist, co-dependent and none of these things are easy to change or to try to curb to something that is better for us in any given situation.

Generally, for good things (like optimism) we don't have to.

I use this not great analogy. If you broke your leg and had a cast. Six months from now, would you be focusing on the injury, hassle, pain? Probably not. You might think about how your cousin made up a week worth of dinners and came over to your house and left them. Or how everyone at work rallied round when you went back, bringing you lunch, asking if you needed coffee, signing your cast and the card they got for you. You get the idea.

In that case an optimistic outlook is grand! In this case though, how is it serving you besides having you ruminating about a relationship that can't be (based on your very own boundaries).

That's why I recommend a list of all the negatives, to refer to. You don't want to turn in to a pessimist (and you won't!) but it's a worthy reminder to ensure your thoughts are on the right track.

Are there any things that you feel were unresolved that you can share here?