Originally Posted by
CBS62 
I really don't think I will drink. But the thought of it does happen when I am feeling really PAWSY or whatever the **** this is. I worked so hard to get here. I am just getting really impatient with feeling so unwell. I get so distraught because I made the choice to quit drinking for my health and wellbeing and I just want to feel good again. I don't drink caffeine anymore. I exercise everyday. I eat healthy. My only vice is sweets and I don't really overdo that. It just sucks right now and I don't have any joy or hope. Intellectually I now I have a lot to be grateful for.
Have you tried journaling/keeping a gratitude list for those things you are grateful for? I would be willing to bet that if you took an inventory at the end of the day and wrote down one thing that has improved with your health or life that you would be pretty surprised how much things have actually improved.
The other statement above i'd recommend doing some thinking on is when you say "I just want to feel good again". Have you defined what feeling good actually means to you? For a long time after I quit, I equated "feeling good" with making all the bad stuff go away. When I was drinking, of course I tried to make it all go away by getting drunk and hoping it was gone when I sobered up - and we all know how that turns out. Problem is, even quitting drinking doesn't take away most of the problems in life. It certainly equips us to deal with them in a better way, but we still have to face them. Whether it's money problems, family issues, Helth issues, PAWS issues or whatever - we still need to do the work to face them. And usually that means doing a lot of things that don't feel "Good".
My advice would be to start small, and track your progress. Look at the bright side when you can - and when you can't find people who can help you find the bright side - like here on SR, or with your counselor, or via a walk in nature. The bad things will never just go away, but you can and will develop skills to get you through them if you keep at it. In essence, thats' really what a "Recovery plan" is all about - your whole life.