Originally Posted by
HardLessons 
You said in your opening post he has been smoking weed consistently since he was 18 & he is now 32. Im guessing he also smoked weed before the age of 18 but not consistently. He has been consistently smoking weed for all of his adult life. He also moderately drinks alcohol & has admitted to trying cocaine a few times, but very occasionally.
I read what you wrote how you feel about him. I understand that part.
Something however obviously has gone very wrong here. You ended up moving out & living with your parents. You posted your story on SR F & F Substance Abuse Forum. You didnt post your story on some type of unconditional love or romance forum.
Do you believe he is an addict?
If the answer to that question is yes - then you need to think through what if you go back to him & find weed. Chances are you will find weed. The only reason he says he stopped is because of you. He didnt stop for his own good. He stopped because you left & forced him into it (at least so he says) His brother also now has stopped. What about all those friends have they stopped? Can he be around those friends while they get high and not do it himself?
Addiction is no small stumbling block to a relationship. Its a major ugly in your face type problem. Oh its only weed. Yeah thats today. What happens tomorrow more coke maybe hit of crystal meth? The train often goes totally off the tracks dramatically & suddenly.
This is your life, its not mine. I can only hope you will think this through. I went back numerous times. Each time when the bad happened again, I lost more of myself. Each & every time I went back it got worse way worse. Hoping you wont make the same mistakes as I did.
HardLessons, you always manage to put things into perspective for me!
Yes, he is a marijuana addict, he presents all of the characteristics of one. Yes, I left my job, I moved out of our house and moved in with my parents. Again, I was the one to completely turn my life upside down and make drastic changes. And he believes that we broke up because of stupid reasons. That it was easy for him to quit, he just wasn't ready yet.
No matter how many times I read your comments and I repeat those things above to myself, I am really struggling to cope with this situation and I think I am in denial as well. I tell myself it's only weed, it can't be that hard to quit weed. He told me he wanted to quit for himself anyways, not just for me, because it didn't do him any good. He just wanted more time to rid himself of it. And after he realised what he lost, it was just appalling to continue using. These are his words. So I try to convince myself that he was going to quit anyway, it was just taking more time than I liked. But I could see no efforts of him stopping. He just threw away the weed every time we fought and then the next day bought another stash. It was a compulsion! (If he hadn't met me though, I believe that he would continue using till the end of his days. He didn't feel that his use was problematic, he found nothing inherently bad about it, he said that everyone did it.)
And after he gets over the overconfident phase of "I'm exercising every day, I am on top of my job and responsibilities, I've got this, even though I feel like my world has ended!", I am afraid he will go back to it or something else. He says he won't, because he managed to stop now in the most difficult and hard time of his life and he doesn't even need it, he has no cravings.
I repeat myself again and again. I always come here and remind myself of all the reasons not to go back, but at the same time it is so incredibly hard not to. I know my mind says not get involved again with addiction, it's not just weed, it's the escapist mentality of it all. But my heart believes he can quit, it was a very big phase in his life, but a phase nonetheless.
I am sorry, I have tired you with my thoughts. It just helps me get through it and understand myself a bit better.