Im not with her anymore. I basically crawled away from her back in June of 2017. Since then, there have been intermittent contacts from her. The last was January 2020. I havent seen or heard from her since. Yes I thought she loved me. Possibly in her own way she did. Shes a long term addict. I didnt know she was an addict until several months after I met her.
You said above "he hasn't upped his alcohol intake to compensate for the lack of weed" which means he is still drinking. Seems like a red flag to me.
Your last paragraph above sound to me like pure manipulation on his part. I dont think you should automatically trust or believe him on anything hes telling you. He knows your venerable. He wants the person who does everything for him back in his life.
If hes truly in recovery, then he should understand what hes done to you. He should give you all the time you need to heal. Tell him you will consider getting back together with him in a year. Then step back for the fire works show.
I am assuming the everyone who is telling you its not going to work are all people you trust & non addicts? BTW I agree with your everyone.
Please take care