Originally Posted by
HardLessons 
When she wrote me her commitment letter (back when) I honestly thought it was real & she was sincere. I had not asked her for a letter or any written commitment. Looking back on it now I honestly believe it was nothing more than manipulation the likes of which I had never experienced before. She knew exactly how to manipulate me. Shes extremely good at it.
Yes during the relationship with our addicts we have no choice but to normalize / accept tons of never ending bizarre behavior & sketchy stuff. Its part of being dragged down to their level.
Our addicts number one priority is getting high & maintaining their addiction. It takes time for us to understand that concept. Once we come to that understanding its an extremely bitter pill for us to swallow.
You seem like an intelligent woman. Whatever you decide to do with your addict, I hope you no longer allow him & his addiction to influence decisions concerning your life. Only make decisions which are best for you. Your life & future are on the line here.
Wow, what your ex did sounds absolutely awful. I don't know, I might be naive, but how could someone be so manipulative and pure evil? I guess you also thought at the time that she loved you so much, that you were above her drug of choice. I gather you have separated?
We talked today, he had his birthday and I couldn't not wish him. He told me he hasn't smoked weed for about a month now and that he hasn't had any craving for it, on the contrary it nauseates him, because it reminds him of what he lost. He has also started exercising again and is actively involved in his job, despite all the hurt he feels from losing me. He believes he is strong enough to get through this and says he doesn't want to use again. Also, he hasn't upped his alcohol intake to compensate for the lack of weed. I believe him, he has been extremely honest throughout our relationship and I don't have reason to stop now. He wants me back and meet face to face, however I said no, because I still don't trust him and I don't trust myself to make the right decision for us when I see him. I will be so emotionally vulnerable from seeing him and missing him that I will most certainly want him back in my life. However I'll still have my doubts and we'll end up breaking up again. I want to avoid all that hurt.
I never gave him another chance and that's all he asks, to give him a chance while sober. He is certain he won't use again, or use anything else to replace the weed. He says he learned his lesson now that he knows what it cost him. He says he is working on himself, loving and forgiving himself, taking care of his health etc. I need to believe him so much, to start building my trust again, but my parents won't support me in my decision if I choose to take him back. He is also blaming me that I never loved him enough or as much as I said I did, because if I did, now that he is sober, I could choose to trust him and we could be together again. But he doesn't get it, trust and love are two very different things. And he doesn't get it that only time can tell if he will be sober indeed in the long run, he thinks that once he made the decision to quit, that is enough. Is that true with marijuana, since they say it not a very physically addictive drug? I want to believe him... But at the same time, I want to put an end to it and move on with my life, because everybody tells me it's not going to work, he will relapse and I will destroy my life once again. I am so confused and I still love him immensely.