One day your pain will turn into "lessons", lessons that will help you heal, find your own balance and recover and to learn to choose wisely when you decide to let someone else into your life. It will also teach you that you are stronger than you think and that you can manage your life without needing another person and to recognize when a good choice appears. Healthy attracts healthy, sick attracts sick. You already sound pretty healthy to me.
I hope you find support at a meeting, it's uncomfortable at first until you realize that everyone there has been through tough times and come out better for the journey.
It's okay to feel sad/angry/lonely/betrayed, just don't hang out there too long. Distract yourself with a walk or a good book or lunch with a friend or plan a nice trip, not that you will take right now but some time in the future when you feel better. The dream of a trip will help you look forward to a nice time doing something you love to do. It doesn't have to be expensive, there are some great camping sites or even day trips that won't hurt financially, depending on what you can afford.
Whatever you choose, know that we're here and we care.
Hugs