checking in
Hi all - it's been a few days since I last posted so thought I'd just post now. I've been riding the rollercoaster of new sobriety and finding it OK, overwhelming, impossible, easy, great, awful and everything else.
I feel like it's been SO LONG. Since I was my sober self. I've taken a little time off work for now (back next Monday with reduced hours) but I realise that I will probably want to switch professions for the long term.
It's weird, I feel like sometimes my self esteem is so low. And then I wonder was alcohol really boosting my self esteem?? I don't think so. Merely providing a smoke screen perhaps? So odd. That I could be healthier now and working towards a better life and somehow have less self esteem than before?
I'm working really hard on not just jumping off the deep end with my emotions, however I am a bit all over the shop. I guess that might come with time?
I feel a strong feeling that I don't know who I am anymore. I wonder if this improves a little at a time as sober time goes on?
Anxiety is, at times, through the roof for me. But then it's also gone at other times. I really feel like I'm on a roller coaster.
Anyway, thanks for reading.