I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have noticed unhealthy patterns in my life that have little or nothing to do with me since becoming sober. Stuff exists in my relationship separate from SUD, which I wasn’t really expecting because I was used to being “the problem child.” You used the word abuse and I just wanted to point out that in relationships that are abusive, couple counseling is contraindicated because it isn’t about the relationship, it is about the person who is being abusive.