Originally Posted by
FiveX 
It should be just that simple I feel like. Trying this sober thing. I do want to be sober. I am so not good with cutting all ties. Every girlfriend I ever had there were multiple break ups and make ups. Then certain drugs. Now this alcohol thing. I just want to shut the door on it but it keeps on knocking.
My buddies called me they want to go out for whiskey wednesday tomorrow. An obvious bad idea. Thats how this works though, right? Theres always another reason on the horizon. Excuses are so easy to find.
I kept going until it got really ugly. There was absolutely no way for me to stop until I had a really big, tangible incentive. And that was how horribly scary it was that alcohol had stopped working and was now causing real real problems. It was before of course but even the part where I was drinking had now stopped being fun. Now that is scary. I have incredible amounts of respect for those that don't let it get that bad, but most get to at least that point and some far beyond.
It may be helpful to read a bit and learn a little bit about the subject matter if you haven't already done so. This Naked Mind, alcohol explained and the unexpected joy of being sober are all great reads and have sections going into detail on the physiology of what's happening when we drink. I found it really helpful in the transition.