Originally Posted by
stickyone 
Maybe there is more growing I can do if I keep going forward for the both of us. And the other side says do you keep taking a emotionally beating as and outlet for her coping? I say hell no. My recovery and my physical and mental health must come first.
You can only grow for yourself. You can’t do it for her. Just like a partner can’t change an alcoholic until the alcoholic is ready. If she is a narcissist, they don’t typically have the ability to look at themselves, which I think you know. You can’t be putting in all the effort and getting nothing, or worse, emotional abuse in return. That is not healthy for you. And you seem like a guy whose mental health is very important to him.