Originally Posted by
stickyone 
Now that I am sober I realized that alot of the times I used was to drown out these problems. .
I think that's pretty universal for us as addicts, and the unfortunate reality is that the problems never go away - they just wait for us to address them.
Regarding your relationship, how have you addressed it thus far? Have you had any conversations with your spouse that it is indeed a problem that you'd like to solve? If you both do want to solve it and can't on your own, certainly brining in a third party ( counseling, etc ) is an option. Very likely you will both need to make significant change and concessions to make things work, so you'll have to decide if that's what you really want.