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03-17-2021, 10:41 AM

# 7 (permalink)

trailmix

Member

Join Date: Nov 2016

Posts: 8,663

Quote:

Originally Posted by Popsy

I feel worried still naturally that he's not eating or shopping. That he's alot more depressed than he's admitting.

It's like I still care for him even though he doesn't deserve any of my care.

I really hope you do have a look at “intermittent reinforcement" as Aries mentioned, it will explain so much.

Yes, we don't like to see people suffer, that is human and is commendable in all of us. However, there is misplaced concern. This is one of those times.

No one (well mostly no one) is 100 percent awful, I'm sure he must have some good points or you wouldn't have gotten involved with him.

Just never forget that along with those few good points comes a load of negatives. Negatives for your life, negatives that affect you mentally and emotionally and therefore your children as well, as you mentioned.

For years he has lived as an alcoholic or a sober person not in recovery and he will continue to do so whether you ever speak to him again or not, he will get by.