It's tough BABM. Personal relationships are hard and I'm struggling through a few right now. I think I'm being mindful and considerate but it just isn't 'clicking' for me and I question, like you do, whether there's just something wrong with me.
But I couldn't progress if I was drinking. Sobriety isn't the solution to all my problems, but without it I can't find any solutions.
I know you can do this BABM, and there is no short cut. But you've got a whole load of experts on getting sober in your corner and your own personality convinces me ypu
can do this