Hi HollyIvy. Welcome to SR. That is such a rough daily cycle you are in. If you can stay sober today, that would be a great start. But if you cannot, the next time you swim up out of the blackness and feel like hell, do not make any decisions or declare sobriety at that point. Of course you want to be sober when you are feeling like that. Instead, try something new at the time of day your cravings hit. Get out of your routine and make sure there is not a drop of booze in the house.
You also don't have to do this by yourself. Sometimes we just cannot get started by ourselves. Is there a treatment option that you could seek?
Keep posting here on SR. This community is one of the top reasons I got sober and one of the top reasons I have been able to stay sober.