Thanks Dee,
I felt like I should have been engaging on here more, because unfortunately I've relapsed.
I remember the same thing happened during my previous alcohol recovery thread when I was several months in. I was very tempted to not return and try things again out of shame / disappointment, but I did end up posting. And from then on things got better and have stayed better. I have a sense of peace and confidence that I'm healed from that, and have been four over four years now.
So looking back, there were similar warning signs that I ignored. If I'm dealing with depression or stresses I know this is a welcoming, accepting place I can write about them. I don't want to use addictive behaviors to cope with things.
I'm going to begin journaling again and this time when I reach around three months of sobriety or so, I plan to keep engaging and ease back more gracefully. It wasn't wise of me to just stop updating on my progress and I apologize to anyone I've hurt or worried.
Day 1.