I absolutely agree with you Bella. So many special occasions ruined, and sometimes he wasn't even physically there, but sending abusive messsges, or threatening suicide, so of course, the day was ruined. I don't tend to react to these things any more.
i can't see him ever being back in my home, even for a visit, if he was to get clean.
I don't actually know, hand on heart, what I feel towards my son. I think I've become so detached from him, I feel nothing at times. And I will admit, life is more peaceful without his craziness in it.
As you say, it's how we survive.
Much Love to you Bella
Bute xx