I really enjoy the fact that when I wake up I don't want to die. That thought of dying became real troubling for me.
I would get "high" for a few hours just to experience a detrimental low. Rinse and repeat. I could not see myself living sober again, in the space when I was sober, nor could I see myself dying by alcohol. I was really really stuck in a hard ******* place. Stuck. I stayed stuck like that for quite sometime. Something was deeply wrong and I was terrified.
I value honesty with myself and others above all other things. Material possessions come and go. If I am not honest with myself, or try to be something I am not, the troubles set in big time. This sober way is fitting for a person like me. There is no more hiding or lying about who I am in the world. I certainly have the days where life "seems" mundane. Its better than being an active alcoholic. There are too many damn problems on that alcoholic road.