Hi. You posted a couple of days ago but just wanted to send you some support! I'm very new to this forum. I'm very early on into a rocky relationship with an alcoholic who has been sober just over Half a year. I met him after he stopped so I was not in his life when he was drinking. He drank due to extreme back pain and depression. A suicide attempt was his turning point and he's done incredible since. He's working full time. He's not relapsed. But he is a really really complicated, difficult person.
I've learned the hard way. I tried to be there. I was the first women he's spoken to in a romantic way since his ex two years ago. He's able to offer you the world. Id want for nothing. He'd spoil me. He would cook for me. Then his depression gets worse and he honestly becomes a different person. Selfish. Cant see why his behaviour affects others. He expects people to not notice or comment on anything and just get on with it.
He dumped me Monday. Like your partner he said horrible things. It was all about me and what I had done to upset him. He was unkind.
So today we spoke about things after calming down. His phone call was completely mixed messages. He wanted to concentrate on work and he hadn't been due to me. He wants me in his life but he doesn't want any stress. He doesn't want me sending worried messages because they do his head in. He likes being single. He is scared of relationships. But he's annoyed that I have concerns due to young children. He doesn't want to be alone. He just wants to be happy. But he doesn't want controlling. I gave him my blessing to focus on work and focus on himself. But he still said he wanted me without the worrying on my part.
I honestly feel annoyed at his response. This is a 46 year old man. He is like an 18 year old without experience with women.
I'm sorry I've told you my story more than advised. But I totally feel for you. You shouldn't be putting up with this anymore. I told myself yesterday it was time to feel the burn. A few sleepless nights and a miserable feeling inside to get me to happier days is worth it.
It was making me ill. Just like it's making you ill. He sounds truly awful and no respect for women or his child. You both deserve to be adored.
I'm happy to chat to you more if you would like. Take care.