With thoughts and memories and emotions - I had to learn to let those things flow through me and ride the waves and learn that the sun still comes up the next day. They are just things going on in my head that I needed to learn to process and put in their proper places. When you report a flood of emotions but "no tears from me", I'm wondering if you are resisting tears too much. A good cry is very therapeutic for everyone. It is hard to tell online how this is really affecting you. I think an in-person counselor could really help you process some of this and determine what else might be going on. Remember you don't have to do any of this alone.