Day 20 going well. Visited family and had a nice lunch.
The last time I saw them I was hungover after having well over 20 drinks the night before.
The abdominal pain has subsided significantly. I look and feel a lot better, I think I've dropped a few pounds too. 20 days ago I was having panic attacks thinking I might be dead before 30. Turns out it wasn't quite that bad (yet), but that changed my life; I finally admitted to myself I am an out of control alcoholic, and I am not capable of living with alcohol in my life, at all. I can't wait until some abstract time in the future to stop, I needed to stop today.
I did a lot of driving today. Passed several liquor stores, and thought about the innumerable number of times I had mindlessly walked in those exact doors, completely under the control of someone else: the alcoholic voice in my head. Saw that term on here a lot. I like it. It fits.
Now things are looking up.