Bubovski - when I am sober and think about what I did the night before, I am petrified - beyond scared. I think about where I walked, who I spoke to, who I went with - it is insanity the places I have been and the people I met out and acted like I knew them a lifetime . And I am not talking about so called good people.
I make everyone my instant friend. I end up in very scary situations, but of course I dont feel the least bit scared at the time.
Alcohol tremendously immediately alters my brain.....there is no in between with me.
I would do Anything to never take that first drink again. I am scared, I am living on the edge and I want off the ledge..........
I was in AA for a long time, I need to get back on zoom AA meetings asap.
Thanks