@ NL I love that you are still coming here and I totally get why it is hard, I’m so pleased you are.
I remember reading a book about raising boys that said something along the lines of if you hear ‘I hate you, you are a terrible mother, nobody else’s mother does this’ congratulations you are doing everything right.
Later in the same book the author talked about kids that do not feel safe and secure tend not to say those things because they are so fearful of not being loved, so the child that does is confident in your love for them.
Having said all of that, I also totally get why some animals eat their young!