Heading to bed, clean and sober - Day 4 no cannabis, 7 years 10 days sobriety from alcohol.....
I'm exhausted in a good way, from a 2 hour run, pulling my toddler in a ski-stroller and at times also pulling my 14 year old and 11 year old who were riding on the skis when they got tired.
I feel good, glad to be heading to bed feeling tired as heck and hopefully going to sleep through the night.
I had a big temptation moment. We ran with a friend and at the end of the run he offered "come on over later and get high with me". At the time I said, 'hey we'll see how the day goes'.
That was a failing.
I didn't say "I'm not using anymore"
or
"Thanks, but I've given that up...."
or
"I've learned over the last year that my casual choice to use marijuana again ultimately led to problematic addictive cannabis use and it's negatively impacting my life, so while I really do appreciate the offer, I'm not up for it. But, it'd be great to come over for a coffee and chat!"
And so, with that failing, I opened the door for my Addictive Voice, which predictably egged me on for an hour or so about how maybe if I was ONLY using cannabis if it were a situation where a friend offered. Or ONLY just a couple of puffs to socialize...... blah blah blah.
Thankfully, I was so tired and sore from pulling kids through the woods on a long run that the AV got beaten down by my weariness and I finally was able to say to it "no. Today is day 4. today's been a good day, if you do that, you'll only regret it tomorrow".
Then I binge watched a bunch of Schitt's Creek with my wife and now we're going to bed.
