Time bomb waiting to explode
Like the title says. I've been working so hard in sobriety. My alcohol and opiate use has always been to numb the feelings and emotions that I did not want to deal with. I was never a violent user. I'm still clean with 235 days off opiates and 8 years no alcohol. Here's the thing since the covid-19 I have worked around going to the gym. I have always used martial arts to release my anger when using and when not using. Since I haven't been doing sparring and just weight training and training on my own. I have gotten alot bigger. Back to the point I snapped and ended up breaking something luckily not a person. But it felt good like euphoria. But afterwards came the fear that I could hurt someone. I'm clouded right now.