Getting sober is not a linear process. Sometimes it takes a few go rounds of relearning the reasons why we stopped drinking in the first place. I didn't learn to ride on a bike on the first go and I do remember falling off. In fact, I remember crashing my little bike and self into a fence. I got up and tried again. Eventually, I was cruising along.
Whatever thoughts you had prior can be looked at and changed. The actions that took place while under the influence do not have to happen again. YOU CAN DO THIS! It is good you have posted here.