Originally Posted by SunnyCoastK

Hello!

I joined late last year and was part of the December 2019 class. I relapsed on Australia Day (on my own, not even at a bbq or at the club).

It wasn’t something I wanted to do, I just found myself walking into BWS and buying wine and felt I was on autopilot. The wine didn’t taste good but I drank it all and felt like absolute crap the next day. I don’t think I’ve made it more than five days in a row without drinking this year and I have downloaded and deleted a sobriety app countless times.

Most days after work I stop at the shops and buy cheese and crackers and wine (have cut down to 1 bottle on a weeknight) but I don’t even want any of that, I’m just compelled to do it. My sleep is never good and of course I vow to quit in the morning and then it’s lather, rinse, repeat.

I am tired of hangovers and cravings and the jumbled thoughts in my head and tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not recognising myself (have put on 20kg since moving to Australia).

I passed my citizenship test last weekend and am waiting for an invitation to a citizenship ceremony and I want to clean myself up and really enjoy my life here and to get out and experience life and make the most of whatever time I have left (hopefully another 30+ years!)

Well that’s my story. Today is day one for me.

-K