Heather----I am sure that you love your mother, but I can imagine that she can be very difficult to deal with , as you say that she is an alcoholic---and, alcoholics are usually not easy to deal with---and, being the daughter makes it even more complicated.
I will point out that we only need to apologize for things that we feel that we did in the wrong. If we truly feel that we were wrong and if we are truly sorry.
I have a couple of suggestions for you---I suggest two things for you to read, as I think they will resonate with you, a lot.
I din't know if you can order books from amazon.com, in your country---but, you can look them up on amazon.com, in the book section--and, read the reviews---and then get them through the local library in your country.
1. "Co-dependent No More"----it is easy to read, and it is the most recommended book on this forum.
2. There is an organizaton called "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (ACOA). You certainly qualify---as your mother is an alcoholic. I suggest that you get their literature---look it up on amazon. You can also get their "Big Book". At least, read all of their literature. I believe that this will really open your eyes as to the dynamics of many of the things that are going on between you and your mother.
Children of alcoholic parents very frequently have trouble with boundaries----because the alcoholism really messes with boundaries. The books that I recommended will help with this alxo.
don't beat up on yourself too much. You won't be the first daughter who has h ad a quarrel with their mother/ It happens even to the best of us---;lol. It won't be the end of the world.......I promise.