ive had a rough few days too.no matter what i told myself i couldnt get out from under the depression,anger,self pity.i cant even get my shopping done,because i am so not into it.so many times in the past few days i thought,how the hell am i ever gonna get thru the next week.
i moved here 10 years ago,and still have not made any friends. every time i tried it seemed i met someone else who wasnt healthy,whether it be drinking,drugs or both,or just very unstable. when i do meet people who arent like this,it seems they have old friendships,and they arent very open to including someone new. its hard,especially now around the holidays. and especially when i,too, have been on the emotional roller coaster the last few days. i saw some strange woman (not his girfriend) driving my ex's car yesterday.wearing a santa hat,all cheery and such. i couldnt even eat the sandwich i had just bought. i started thinking about him having such a fun,wonderful xmas with all these people around.
later,when i got alittle more rational....i realized-yeah probably a bunch of drunk people. that he doesnt even know that well,who( probably are) and will, take advantage of him down the line...i can only hope.
as far as the money/gift part--ive been there,many times. just do what you can...as said, home made gifts are nice,me myself i love some of the stuff at the dollar store. its disappointing when you cant do what you want, but it IS the thought that counts. and there is always next year. or better yet...any time.
hang in there.....thats all we can do......idget started a thread about ways to deal with our emotions right now--im hoping people keep it going,because i sure am going to need it. im also toying with the idea of going out and buying one of those speed bags,and some boxing gloves!!!!!!!