Originally Posted by
itsmaria 
You guys are too kind here. Can't find a reason not to drink but I stopped anyway. Tonight at least. On a waitlist for a program but don't see how it will help.
No friends no family. Can't connect with people . That's not bc of booze. It's bc of me. So not drinking wont make my problems wont go away. I'll just be alone and sober instead of alone and drunk.
I dont want to drink myself to death but can't find reasons not to.
You know for real I have no good friends or family I'm close to? 44 years old. Years of therapy, grew up abused, not my fault blah blah. Sure. But I'm still alone and no one gives a ahit. If I died I dunno who would come to my funeral I guess the city would find me.
Dark stuff sorry.it's the truth.
Stopped for tonight I think. Not sure . I wish I could fix my life.
I appreciate folks here reading thank you.
Your problems are very real and I am not trying to downplay them. It will take hard work to get to where you want to be there is no way around it.
However, always remember drinking is making all these problems, every single one, worse. So the best and most important thing you can do now is not drink today and take it from there. Just focus on that. Tomorrow you can do the same and just take it day by day. Post here, go to online AA meeting whatever you have to do.
I'm willing to bet almost everyone here their life was a mess when they were on Day-1, so don't think it is unusual what you are going through. Stay sober and as you can see with examples on here, your life will get progressively better. I promise you.