Originally Posted by
Bidgdrunner 
a brutally honest, and thoroughly, thoroughly depressing post - thank you though, genuinely, I don't need people tiptoeing round this.
It looks to me like you've got two options:
You can live with her or move.
No one who thinks their drinking is under control is going to go to treatment. And on the off chance that they do - it's going to be a colossal waste of time and money, and energy/hope for their loved ones.
On a different off chance that your SO quit drinking for you - in the place of her alcohol and drinking would exist resentment of epic proportions towards you. That's just how we roll.