Originally Posted by hummingbird358

My son will be discharged on Tuesday. Refused to stay longer than 30 days, refused sober living, refused to do IOP. Says he just needed to go to get his head on straight and he will be good.... So he is going back to living alone in his apartment which he is scared to death to go back to... Makes sense right? Refuses to do sober living because the last one he was at over 19 months ago didn't work out so well. Plus, he wants to get into a relationship right away because he NEEDS to have a girlfriend. No matter how many times he was told to work on himself before he will be able to have a rewarding relationship he won't listen.
I am told to be positive... I did speak to his counselor. She told me he is extremely depressed... I know once he is alone with no one around that will even escalate. Nothing I can do being over 1500 miles away. He is in God's hands. We have done all we can to offer help. We even offered a great incentive to do just 2 months of sober living and he could save money but nope. (He is moving to a new apartment at the end of Nov.. He found a roommate who is moving to the area and they seem to have some things in common. He is drug free so that is a plus.) Just for 2 months he wouldn't do sober living...
We told him yesterday that we were done helping now. This was the last time. He is hell bent on getting a car and was looking for us to help with a down payment. We told him no- he would need to have a much longer sober time under his belt and prove he was on the right path before we even consider such a thing. If he wants a car, that is on him. Oh my, do I fear him behind the wheel.
He did show interest in getting some help for his borderline personality disorder which is a good thing but I am not sure he will follow through.
I am reading a lot on that and trying to gain an understanding. That combined with addiction is double the manipulation and angry outbursts, etc.
I do have a therapist but I just don't feel it is helping. I went to Alanon and with the pandemic there was only me and 1 other person there the last time. I do need to find a new meeting place or look online for one.
My son will be going back to his working from home immediately but the isolation living alone gets to him. His choice though we offered sober living.