The pain it causes seems to disappear over time, and then the common a few won't hurt I can be in control mentality returns. It's fun for a bit. Then the waking up wondering how I embarrassed my self or who I emotionally hurt. Riddled with guilt so numb myself some more. My alcohol cycle, round and round.
everyday now I must remind myself that this time won't be different. It starts with a sip and ends up with a poor state of mind and more.