Originally Posted by
Justme8 
As I sit here wallowing in my own disgust and hatred. ...
That's not helping you.
I read the stories when everyone says God forgives
What about the other stories that say God helps those who help themselves?
I’m a binge drinker. Which is probably worse then an alcoholic because I actually can stop myself through several months.
It's not worse. The only thing worse than an alcoholic/binge drinker is a dead alcoholic/binge drinker.
This time I drank a full bottle of Vodka at home in my room but was watching a movie and had no intention of drinking until I went out with friends. ... I acted like a completely lunatic. I locked the bathroom door and decided to go out the window. My heart is broken because my boys that are now 18 watched this all and eventually locked me in my room.
That's love in action. It seems they didn't want you to hurt yourself or someone else.
I’m the parent and they have to take care of me.
If you don't like that then change it. Stop drinking.
How low can I be! I have a good life but truely don’t understand where Or what I’m trying to drown out. What if it’s nothing and I’m just a f’ing loser. Thoughts please.
Life is stressful - good life or not. You can worry about understanding
why this and why that later. Right now - just focus on not drinking any more alcohol. Drink something else. It doesn't matter what - just quit swallowing alcohol.