Jumping onto the pile of wise responders here.
Im not sure how long your husband has been sober, but they say in recovery to wait a year before making any big moves. That doesn’t necessarily refer to going back home, so much as starting new relationships or ending established ones.
His soul and brain need to heal, that takes time. The year thing is exactly what I experienced. At the year sober mark, I felt I could finally trust my brain. Like my thoughts were finally my own, not tainted by addictive thinking or the aftermath of booze in my brain.
Your soul and brain need to heal, too. And that also takes time.
Your husband might fear for your marriage, and need everything to go “back to normal.” Honestly, y’all really shouldn’t go “back to normal.” Ever. That “normal” was addiction, that path needs to be cut off. In order to develop a new “normal,” it takes a lot of work and patience on both parts.
You are half half of this relationship. Like everyone has said, your life has revolved around his addiction. Both of you are accustomed to that pattern. He might be freaking out that you aren’t instantly jumping to meet his needs. You’re breaking a pattern and that’s unsettling. Its a pattern that needs to change.
Its up to you whether to tell him yes after a specific date or set of circumstances when he can come home. But you are wiser than most to want to give hard thought to what that looks like before answering him.
Does your counselor understand addiction, and the extent of the problem?