Maybe I can integrate an occasional 100ml of vodka into my life. 100ml isn't much. I got a nice buzz.
You know thats nonsense FF.
Once your addiction has bargained for a certain amount of drinking being ok - ie not making you too sick on antabuse - you're in some deep water.
The only real viable choice - if you want change is - is to make change.
I'm all for whatever works - AA AVRT, rehab - but they all have to have the common element of you/me/us putting in effort.
I put a great deal of time effort and thought into drinking.
I had to put even more time effort and thought into not drinking.
I know its sucks. You're young and the last thing you want to do is deal with this stuff - but the longer you leave it the harder it's gonna be and the fewer dreams and aspirations you're going to be able to realise.
Maybe its time to come clean and ask the opinion of those around you what you should do next.
D