No bother Gabe. I did that for years, trying to have both. Just fit "a bit of drink" into my normal life. But I have accepted now that something in the old noodle has been changed by the amount and frequency I drank and it's just not possible I can ever proccess drink normally physiologically again.
AVRT is helping this time because it's useful for me to visualize this change as a separate entity. This change that has taken place in my brain as to how it has ended up reacting to alcohol, really didn't feel like part of me.
I think you have nailed the crux of the matter. Are you going to end the turmoil by never putting alcohol in your body again, or are you going to keep on trying it, on the off chance a miracle might happen and your body will react differently to it this next time?