Jules,
I'm sorry if this is harsh, but you are making lots of excuses for him. You are weighing up the bad with the good, and on balance its ok for now, because he seems to love you, and when its good, its really good.
There is a thread about the intermittent chicken - intermittent reinforcement essentially. Im not sure how to find it but will try. It's very damagingwhen you are in that situation.
once, I was feeling pretty neglected and AH bought me a load of woodchips for me to finish a garden bed. I thought at the time...hmmm, he does really love me. That was messed up. A load of woodchips? That i had to shovel for hours? Really?
Talking about other women, urinating on yourself and falling asleep on the kitchen floor is really worrying. Would you tolerate that from a friend, aunt or brother?
Stay strong, and keep posting.