Originally Posted by
dandylion 
mako-------it sounds like you have the concept of being powerless over her addiction locked down----intellectually, at least. And, you know about the value in letting go and letting God.In any case, I have empathy for your pain.
I am glad that you have reached out for help. that is always a good thing to do.
I have admitted I'm powerless over a number of things... but THIS is an entirely new situation for me (relationship with addict, active or otherwise) and I totally and utterly missed and didn't even consider the suggested 12 step process. I'm very familiar with the process and the concept. In ignorance or blindness I wasn't expecting to have to make such an admission. Not the slightest 'whiff' had I... perhaps, I was just so wrapped up in the moment and the wishful thinking that I just couldn't see what was bleeding obvious! That's probably the truth.
Truly I am shocked at myself for my reactions and for ignoring all the things you guys have very accurately spotted. If you'd have asked me what I would do in such circumstances, I'd have told you I'd do exactly the opposite of what I'm actually doing. I wouldn't have lied, but I'm stunned at how much the emotional involvement has blinded me to the truth. I'm not enjoying what little bit, let me tell you... I'm in pain, I really hurt.
BUT hearing back that which I know and have probably suggested to others (over the years) is genuinely about as usefull as it gets. I say that because, I don't want anyone to not post something that is (seemingly) obvious. Let me tell you.... I can't see the wood for the trees! I'm blinded to this every bit as the addict...
And now I write that I think I'm in a full on co-dependent relapse! Another thing I've just discovered I'm powerless over (again).
Guys & gals ... just fabulous stuff coming from you. Fabulous that you're helping me, help myself with your comments, suggestions, questions and truth.