Originally Posted by
dandylion 
mako-------it sounds like you have the concept of being powerless over her addiction locked down----intellectually, at least. And, you know about the value in letting go and letting God.
The thought that I have is that you may be in a grieving process. Especially so, if there is a romantic element in your relationship with her.
Perhaps this signals to you the possible impending loss of the relationship----? That would certainly trigger a grieving process---and the pain of such is almost indescribable in it's intensity.
Have you ever grieved the loss of a relationship before---or, even the possibility?
I may be on the wrong track---as you have not indicated the nature of your relationship. If so---just ignore me. In any case, I have empathy for your pain.
I am glad that you have reached out for help. that is always a good thing to do.
You're absolutely right about the romantic element of the relationship!
I'd not considered 'grieving the loss of the relationship' and I didn't WANT/couldn't stand the thought of having to - I think I knew instinctively that that was likely. I also couldn't stand the thought of being lower down the pecking order, you know ... replaced by crack cocaine and those that can offer it, or share that experience, or that she'd prefer to be exploited for her addiction than not exploited. I think the rejection of me as a human being was too much for me to cope with.
I think this , this "grieving" is also in the mix, perhaps just as much as my lack of acceptance and inability to even consider my powerlessness over the situation, her addition etc etc Although, of course they're all intrinsically linked - at least when I'm in that moment of crisis.
I've not knowingly grieved the end of a romantic relationship. I'm familiar with the grieving process. With this... the opposite was the case, it was just starting to flourish. I guess this has added to utter despair I felt.
What a sad, sad situation I find myself in.
This is all great stuff gang. I know I keep saying it, but I'm super grateful. I truly mean that. From the bottom of my heart... and I've a lump in my throat just typing that.