Is it all pointless?
I'm new to this particular board, but I've been on sober recovery for years... and quite honestly, I'm absolutely shocked and stunned to find myself here on this board - no offence intended dear fellow travellers. Perhaps, I shouldn't be surprised. Actually, I absolutely shouldn't be and perhaps the lesson here is I need to keep in check of my own bloody issues, recovery and (perhaps) arrogance?
Anyway, I'm not here to beat myself (or anyone else) up ... I'm here genuinely searching for some guidance and suggestions as I'm dealing with someone who is using a sibstance I'm not at all familiar with (crack) and quite honestly I am lost, out of my depth, worried sick, really upset, hurt, angry, concerned and ... feeling not a little helpless, hopeless and useless!
I'd like to be supportive, but my ignorance of the substance combined with my own experience of addictions means I'm blinded by my own ignorance, projections and fears!
Briefly the situation is; my girlfriend who is an ex-heroin / crack user has had a relapse and has had a couple of days back smoking crack. This she admitted to me yesterday, I'm sorry to say my reaction was terrible, but ignore that for the time being. Currently she claims that she "doesn't intend" on using again. I think she is lying to herself. Her attitude to the relapse is the typical "anger, disappointment, can't feel worse than I already do". I'd like to say that her attitude to relapse might be positive in some sense i.e. realises the error, trying not to allow the relapse to define her, treating each day as it comes. But to my world view, that treating each day as it comes is defeatist and a resignation suggesting that sounds to my ears like "If I want to use tomorrow, I will".
Anyway... I'm all up for hearing any and all suggestions. I know I can't change her, I know I'm in danger of enabling her.... Come on SR members, help me out please. I feel... well, a bit broken and lost.