You can do this! Keep coming to SR for support. It's a big step admitting that we are alcoholics, not an easy task. Like you, I would often just say to myself that I had a drinking problem, it sounded better than being an alcoholic. I've been sober for 6+ months now and have started coming to SR every day and it's a great help. I feel inspired knowing I'm not alone in this battle. We WILL win this battle. Hugs.