(((mjln)))
In my area there are several AA meetings that have an Alanon meeting at the same time is it possible that there is a meeting like that in your area that you could invite your wife along to? Or maybe you could even invite her to go to an open meeting this might help her to feel closer to you in your recovery. I know she says that she doesn't want to go to Alanon
...also at this time of year in my area there are several AA/Alanon parties that are just great maybe there is one in your area that you could invite your wife and kids to that could help her connect to the "celebration of sobriety".
The very first meeting I ever went to just so happened to be a christmas party and it has helped me to appericate the celebration so much...