Funny----I am going to give you the following link straight to the "sticky threads" that are just above the "regular threads" on the main page of this forum. It is to our library of classic reading articles---about alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones. There are over 100 excellent articles, written by others who have walked in your shoes (loving an alcoholic). There are enough articles for you to read one every single day. There is sooo much to learn. Knowledge is power. By knowing about alcoholism and the nature and course of the disease, it can save you from a lot of heartbreak. Most of what you will need to know is very counter-intuitive.
For example----It is imperative that you know that there is no possibility of moderate drinking for the alcoholic. One drink is too much, and a hundred is not enough (a saying in alcohol recovery circles).
You need to know that a few weeks of not drinking is not the same as recovery. Unless the alcoholic is working a program of recovery diligently--(like AA)--and living by the principles, strictly, for the rest of their lives---relapse is practically inevitable. It takes anywhere from one to five years for an alcoholic to grasp firmly onto the recovery live style (depending on who you talk to). You should not believe any promises for at least one year of observed sobriety. Even alcoholics with years and years of recovery under their belts can relapse if they stray away from their program.
You should know that half measures and half promises are of little value. Just attending an AA meeting once a week or promising to see a counselor once a week is not enough involvement or support. A newly sober person needs to invest a lot---lot---of time and work. And, still, it is not easy.
He may not know any of this---and may be very resistant---but, it is Essential that you know it! You need to know what you are up against in order to protect yourself and your best interest.
Here is that link that I am talking about------------------------
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
****If you haven't read "Co-dependent No More", I recommend that you get a copy and read it. It is the most recommended book on this forum. It is easy to read and I think that it will resonate with you.