Originally Posted by
BackandScared 
You should have faith in yourself. I wish I had something really smart to say and helpful, because when I was having a really down moment, around day 50, you wrote a message to me that made all the difference. You gave the hope and support I needed to keep myself on track. Sometimes, help and love comes from the most unexpected places. However, the reverse is also true and we can get ourselves down from things we do not even notice.
You are a wonderful person and you do not deserve to punish yourself with the negative thoughts that will lead to self-destruction.
Thank you. I really appreciate your words of support!
Thank you everyone. I’m feeling a little bit better. Not a ton but a little, yet that is actually a big relief from where I was coming from. I’ll take whatever I can get.
I intentionally posted this thread in the Alcoholism forum, not the New to Recovery Forum, bc I didn’t want people in the early days to think it remains such a struggle. I know it really doesn’t. It has gotten much easier, but I guess for me there are still these weird deep dips that I still need to iron out. Because they’re soooo dangerous.
Obviously I know I can’t drink again. My last year of drinking I was definitely the worst I’ve ever been. And it started to scare me (although I probably should’ve been concerned waaaay earlier). I know I’m not the one and only unique addict who can restart drinking and have it be just fine. And I have to say, I’ll never get over how wonderful it is not to be hung over anymore. I basically consider myself a superhero for having been able to exist in the world hung over for 20 years. So I really don’t want to screw this up. I really appreciate all of your support.