I notice that you use the word "fear" a lot in your posts.
What can you do - in the face of fear- that will propel you towards the future you want for yourself?
How can you DO SOMETHING to begin moving forward even though you're afraid?
Does fear require you to freeze or can you still behave in a way that instills you with pride and accomplishment?
Think about it. You put yourself in this situation and only you can get yourself out. But not by thinking about it. Moving toward your future and away from drinking requires action.