Thanks Sleepyholo. What you said is correct. He calls and I have to hear about the rotten hand he was dealt getting this disease. I told him that people overcome this with work and his reply but most die. I told him about finding an online forum to chat with others going through what he is, he didn't do it. He sits alone and does his self pity because he pushed all of his friends away. They have lives and don't want to sit on the phone for hours listening to him intoxicated.
I woke up to no messages or missed calls. It is what it is. If he dies, then there is peace. The son I raised is not there anymore. He died a long time ago. Just hope that God will take him with him.