BABM, thanks for replying. I'm glad you have a plan in place, with the Antabuse in readiness for your friends visit. I'm not an AA person now, although in my past history I've attended AA and worked the Steps twice. Ultimately, I found freedom from drinking right here on SR, it's an awesome resource full of inspirational people. I'm drawn to your threads because you sound like such a good Dad, BABM, and it hurts to read of your drinking and despair, against that backdrop.
I've been in such despair, but there are ways out. It's just about trying different ways, until one clicks with your psyche.