Hi Any
I'm sure you're right that everyone wants to help, but I'm sorry that some of our members in their haste to help may sometimes misconstrue what help actually is.
I hope that you can decide whats best for you with you and your bf/ex. I think you know already what that is for you - I hope find the wherewithal to make it happen
I hope you stick around - there is a lot of good useful support here
D