I am so very, very sorry for your loss, silentrun; such a tragic end to a life. Coping with loss is so difficult; the grieving process is difficult but necessary. I have found that the only way to resolve grief is through it, as hard as that may be. Resolution comes at a price.
The anger stage has always been the most difficult one for me and always the longest of the stages - especially when the lost one was young; denial was always the shortest - reality always hit fast and hard; bargaining barely existed.
Much love to you, silentrun. You are dear to me.