Happy Birthday Stable. It sounds like you have a great goal for the coming year. I hope you can turn a corner and get your health back. Maybe get a journal and make a commitment to write each day for 365 days until you turn 43. Each day write down a benefit of sobriety and a consequence of drinking. Use it as a start to explore how you want to live.
None of us have ever tried everything. Don't stop searching for your answers. There is a way you can stop drinking and be sober for good. Think of having the next 42 years to spend healthy and well. What would you fill those years with? Now you get to do it.